You Are Not Alone: When Rejection Grows You

Disappointed teenage girl covering her face with hands

In light of recent viral testimonies inspired by the hash-tagged, “Churchhurt” movement, it is important to understand the root of anger for so many people. Anger is just a symptom of deep pain that could be the result of past rejections. However, it takes courage to be able to address that pain to find your way to healing. It is easy and quite normal to lash out, but once the tears begin to dry and the anger begins to settle, there are a few jewels within the depths of rejection.

  1. For the believers in God, rejection from man allows for a dependency on God and a more intimate relationship with Him. The inconsistency of people, highlights the consistency of God and His love, allowing your full trust to be put back in Him.
  2. Rejection helps to strip away a “people pleasing” attitude. Such stripping away makes room for people to develop into the people God called them to be, not what man expects them to be. Additionally, “people pleasing” attitudes keeps people from taking risks and living life within their purposes out of fear of what others may think or say.
  3. Rejection aids in humility when viewed and handled from a spiritual perspective. When people experience rejection, they are in a better position to empathize with others who are struggling and better recognize the pain within others. The reason is because rejection from people can rattle our egos, hurt our pride and forces us to re-evaluate our “position” in the eyes of others, often those we love. It is true that when rejection is not properly addressed and the person remains wounded rather than healed, it could produce a very bitter, insecure and maybe abusive person. These are symptoms of unhealed pain. However, if one chooses to heal from the wound of rejection, then it can produce a very patient, humble and empathetic vessel that God can use powerfully towards someone else’s healing.
  4. Rejection can produce inner confidence. As much as that sounds like an oxymoron, the road of healing from rejection leads to a more self-assured, fearless person. As mentioned in the second point, when “people-pleasing” is stripped away, you realize that man’s acceptance is fickle and cannot be used to determine your destiny or the direction you take. Rejection pushes you to define life by your own terms and for believers, God’s terms. You are not easily swayed from your focus and will begin to prioritize the things in life that truly matters.
  5. Rejection can save you. Sometimes people stay in jobs, places and social circles way too long than their purpose permits. Rejection is meant to force you towards the destiny you were called to obtain. In other words, rejection is the ultimate projection for something greater.

In conclusion, rejection can be painful, but it can also produce some remarkable characteristics in us, if we allow the healing.

The video attached to this post is a testimony from Pastor Riva Tims, who experienced betrayal and rejection within a very public platform.  By sharing this video of her personal journey, which includes tragedy and revelation, it is our prayer that it inspires those hurting and dealing with rejection; whether from a spouse, former friends or the church to move forward in healing and understanding that there is great purpose beyond the pain.

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